Mitten Strings for God: Chapter One

~ Dailiness ~

"Now I love the dailiness. I enjoy washing dishes. I enjoy cooking, I see my father's roses out the kitchen window, I like picking beans. I notice everything ~ birdsongs, the clouds, the sound of wind, the glory of sunshine after two weeks of rain. These things I took for granted before." (Olive Ann Burns)

Late yesterday afternoon, I was working in the kitchen, preparing supper. I was eager to get to this post; sentences were already forming in my mind. But it was time to make supper - the sun was setting, the kids were getting hungry, and Bill was on his way home from work. So here I was making meatballs - which my family loves, but which I really do not enjoy making. Digging my hands through a pound of cold ground beef is not exactly pleasant to me. But I tried to focus on the fact that this was good beef - all natural, fresh and full of protein. These meatballs would make a nutritious and delicious supper for my family. The boys were running all around me - one was (loudly) telling me all about a new pirates game, one was watching a (loud) train video in the family room, and the other was playing Star Wars (loudly) with a friend.

I must admit, I was craving a little peace and quiet, a little time for myself.

But I couldn't help thinking, as I have done so often lately - especially when I'm doing some mundane, homey little thing - about my cousin's wife who passed away just a few weeks ago. Amy and I were the same age, both mothers of young children. Her life was cut short, and here I stood with - God willing - many years ahead of me. Many more years to savor life's simple little joys. Like making meatballs for my family.

The quote at the start of this post was from a note written by a friend of Katrina Kenison's, a woman who was dying of cancer. Because she knew her time was short, she wanted to enjoy all the little things in life - things that can bring us deep joy if we let them. Those daily joys would be over for her before too long, and she was determined not to overlook a single one.

How do we make the most of the time we have? (And nobody ever knows how much that will be.) How do we learn to love the dailiness?

***

From this chapter I came away with an idea of two kinds of dailiness. There's the kind that's very easy to love - the birdsong, the roses, the sunshine. Easy to love, but easy to miss.

And then there's the kind that's not so easy to love - the dirty dishes, the unfolded laundry and the pounds of cold ground beef. Hard to love, and hard to miss.

***

I've mentioned before that I've read this book a good many times. This time around I'm making a few goals for myself regarding each chapter. So before I turn this post over to my dear readers, (in comments and links posted below), here are some of my notes on dailiness:

1. Maintain balance within our family schedule. I say maintain, because I think we do a pretty good job with our schedule now, but it's always a balancing act. I'm a true homebody at heart, so I make sure we have plenty of quiet days (or at least hours) in a week. I want to set an example for my children, to show them a way to live that is not frantic or pressured. I hope they learn to set their own pace in the world, without tethering themselves to its demands.

2. Learn to appreciate the "humble household rituals." Remember that it's only for a while that I'll have little boys underfoot and five sets of socks to sort. Focus on the fact that the things I do for my family - even the smallest offerings - are all gifts. From me to them and back again. Even the meatballs. ;)

3. Make home a nurturing place to be - physically, emotionally and mentally. Help the kids cultivate hobbies. Create space that is cozy and fun to be in. Brainstorm family activities that don't require money or even a lot of fuss - things like lighting candles at dinner every night. (Thank you Mary for the idea!)

4. Take time to consider it all. Keep up my blog, because it is here that I am preserving my family's memories - our family's dailiness, if you will. When I read through my archives, I remember how "big" all the little things really were. Hopefully my boys will do the same someday. As they grow, I want them "to be able to see the sacred in the ordinary ... to know how to "love the dailiness." And I want them to want that for their own families.

Now, before I go, I would like to invite all of my readers to share their thoughts on this first chapter of Mittenstrings for God. Even if you haven't read the book, but still have thoughts on the subject, you are welcome to join us. Please leave a comment (or comments!) below and/or a link to a post you've done at your blog, and thank you for joining me! I'm home all day, and will be checking in frequently to hear what you all have to say. :)

"If my experience as a mother has taught me anything, it is to be awake for such moments, to keep life simple enough to allow them to occur, and to appreciate their fleeting beauty ... these are the moments that, woven together, constitute the unique fabric of our family life. Herein lies the deep color, the lights and shadows, of our days together." (Katrina Kenison)

*Next month's chapter (Morning) will be discussed on Friday, 3/14. :)

Comments

[Tara]

What a lovely post. In making the decision to homeschool, our lives have become less urgent and more deliberate. We are fully present and able to live in the moment and appreciate things more.
Thank you for reminding this reader that time marches on, and I need to be sure to relish every day I am given with my sweet family!

[Margaret in Minnesota]

"Mittenstrings" is waiting for me at our library! This will be the second time I've checked it out...and oh, how hard it was to return it the first time.

Needless to say, I am looking forward to this discussion. I'll have more to add (God willing) later in the day.

[Heidi]

My book is ordered but has not come in yet. Looking forward to finding it in my mailbox one of these days coming up!

[Kerry]

I went to look for my "Mittenstrings" book, and then realized that I had lent it to my sister. I decided it was in good hands, and ordered myself another one yesterday. The first chapter is one I have read more than any other. Appreciating the "dailiness"of my life has always been a challenge. Last year, two changes in my family helped make it a bit easier: the first was the birth of my third child (long awaited, after many miscarriages), and the second was our decision to pull our children out of school. Nothing simplifies life like having a baby around! We've found ourselves spending more time at home, and slowing down, just enjoying watching him grow. For my part, I find that now I am trying to slow down more and enjoy the little details of my other two children's lives as well. Homeschooling has provided us with a beautiful way to do this. The gratitude we feel for the presence of this baby in our lives is spilling over to other areas of life as well, making us more appreciative of everything we have.

Thanks for making the effort to do this. What a wonderful thing to reflect about on a Friday morning during lent ! : )

[Jamie]

Thank you so very much for doing this! I have never belonged to a book club so this is the next best thing! I have been reading this book for a few months, I bought it (used online, cheap) after MN Mom suggested it. I have 2 chapters left. I like to read it when I have quiet time to contemplate it and put it into action. Wow, to re-read it, it is amazing how soon we forget things, like dailiness. I think it probably is a chapter worth reading every week, to keep us thankful, as is your post. What would we do, how would we act if we knew we were dying soon? Oh, we need to be thankful and love every minute, no matter how small.

"Everything is grace." -St Therese the Little Flower.

Here is a link to a post I did a week or so ago, what I did not post was that yes, the girls do cry and scream almost every day that this daily job is done, but they still want it done and I still love to do it.

http://makemeasaint.blogspot.com/2008_02_01_archive.html

I hope that is ok? I'm new to this blogging thing....

[Caroline]

This subject matter of Dailiness is so good for me to contemplate! I get so focused on getting things done.....getting school done, chores done, getting the girls to their rooms to play quietly, getting time to myself....getting stressed out thinking about all the things I'm not doing! But the greatest thing to do lies right in front of me....just being with my family...enjoying them...listening to them...savoring the tasks that come to me because of them.....Thank you Dawn for that reminder to even enjoying the noise when I long for peace and quiet! Well I'm off to enjoy some morning chores before my girls are up!

[Chris]

Hi Dawn, I've read your blog for a long time but never commented before today. I am reading Mittenstrings right along with you, and appreciate this discussion. Thank you for your blog, which I stumbled upon during Advent a year ago. Inspired, I did some of the same activities with my husband two boys (ages 7 and 9) that you were doing with your own family. It helped to make us slow down, have fun together, and appreciate the meaning of the season and our faith. Thanks to you and your family for inspiring ours and for sharing how you live your faith. Everything from your book lists to tea and crafts has given me good ideas for use with my own family.

As for the Dailiness chapter in Mittenstrings, I am reminded how much I need to slow down and savor these childhood day, even the crazy days. I find that to be so challenging as the boys get older and want to do so many outside activities like scouts, music lessons, and sports. I want them to experience life, but I also want them to learn, as you said so well, to set their own pace in life and not be tethered to constant outside demands. Thanks for hosting this discussion and helping me to think about how best to do set the pace in my own family.

[Dawn]

Hi everyone!

I am checking in at lunchtime(ish) and enjoying all your thoughts! Thanks for participating in this discussion. :)

Is anyone else finding it very hard to type in my comments box? It seems very sticky and slow to me ...?

[Stacy]

Dawn and friends,
I am really enjoying the MSFG book. I'm borrowing it from the library, but I realized yesterday, that this is a book I really want to own. I plan to buy it soon, so I can mark it up with notes and highlights. It's very very inspirational! I blogged my thoughts on Chapter 1, so when you have a free moment please stop by my blog to read my musings. All the best!
Stacy :-)
(The link to my post is below. Just cut and paste it in your browser.)
http://paintingbridges.wordpress.com/2008/03/07/mitten-strings-for-god-book-study-dailiness/

[joann10]

I found some wonderful insights in this chapter on daily-ness. I am at a time in my life which sometimes is totally overwhelming. With ten kids - all still at home, it seems like we live in a whirlwind, but I have reached this time by going through many years of life and death health issues for myself. I know that the daily-ness of life is what is important, but now with good health- I find myself reaching the end of the day, and feeling like a failure because of everything not achieved. For so many years, doing a lot of stuff, was not an option, we lived day by day. Now it is my husband who reminds me to not look at what wasn't done, but look at the blessings I have received by being given another day with my children and him, and to see everything that is precious in the day to day: home time, baby cuddling, toddlers, homeschooling, talks with young adults, sunshine, snowstorms, noise, and quiet peacefulness. The gift of life is what I need to remember, is the greatest gift of all.

[Hannah]

Such a beautifully written post. Thank you for sharing. Recently after coming home from a long stay at the hospital with my son (he had a perforated appendix) I wrote this post:

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/melissal89/468367/

It was an experience that changed our lives. And God has used it to completely change the way I look at things.

Blessings, Melissa

[Kelly - Life at the Quinn Home]

Dawn,

I am loving the book. I'm about half way through. I love the book study too. I am getting to go back and now ponder over what I've read and the notes I've written in the margins.

Thanks for introducing me to such lovliness.

Here's my post http://kellyquinn.blogspot.com/

Kelly

[patience]

When my daughter was a baby, I would often stop in a moment and thank God with all my heart for the joy of it - a simple, ordinary, perfectly blessed moment of motherhood. As she grew older, I found myself doing it less, being busy as I was, becoming used to this life. But lately I have grown once again more attuned to each moment, and more thankful. It makes such a huge difference to each day. It brings a kind of holy beauty to normal suburban living.

[Nicole]

I can't wait to post about this tonight! Ironically, I was also making meatballs yesterday and rethinking my dislike of digging in raw meat. I too took a moment to be grateful that I had the time to make these meatballs myself and that we were gifted with so much sunshine earlier in the day. I had a wonderful day with my girls and I was so grateful. I am trying to be more grateful for those days when it is less than perfect and life with a 3.5 year old and 1 year old is HARD. Mittenstrings has provided me a roadmap for a greater appreciation of the daily-ness of my life. WELL, I have to get back to work but I have put a link to a post I wrote last week for your enjoyment until I have the chance to write a new post for today.

[Jordan]

Your post is lovely.

I am so glad you recommended this inspiring book, Dawn. As soon as I read what you had to say about it, I requested it from the library and I have been enjoying it, one chapter at a time. I'm thankful you proposed the idea of a book study because this book has so many ideas to ponder and discuss. I look forward to reading others' perspectives and thoughts.

Here is a link to my post: http://thefoleys.typepad.com/jordans_blog/2008/03/mfg---dailiness.html

[kozimom]

I have 9 children - the oldest is 19 and the youngest are twins who are 19 mos. Having my oldest graduate from homeschool, really made me begin appreciating the dailiness of life. OH, these babies grow up sooo fast - it just goes by in a blink! So I am trying to savor these days and enjoy these moments - whether it's cuddling a chubby toddler, having an interesting discussion with a young adult, teaching a little one how to read, OR changing stinky diaper after stinky diaper......

[sarah]

I have found that my children sink more deeply into imaginative play when I am up and about tending to our home. When I am truly present to my daily tasks, I think I free them a bit to relax and just play. I think that when I can find joy in some of the daily tasks of home, I provide them with a security that all is well. They relax and go about their own work of play. I tried to express this here: http://maymomvt.blogspot.com/2008/03/old-fashioned-play.html

[Esther]

Sometimes I feel like thoughtful, soul-nurturing parenting is something that belongs only to those families who choose single-income homeschool living. I've struggled with this, since I will be returning to work in the spring when my maternity leave is finished. Can I still nurture my son's body, mind, and spirit in these rich and quiet ways if I am a working mother? Reading the chapter on dailiness gave me a sense of peace. Dailiness means the things that happen in MY days, it doesn't mean copying some other family's lifestyle, but being present to the moments in OUR life just as it is, just as we make it what we want it to be.

[Dawn]

Just popping in again before bed to say how much I am enjoying all your responses. :) Thanks so much for joining me!

See you all again in the morning ...

Good night and God Bless!
Dawn

[Irina]

Appreciating the blessings of dailiness is something that didn't come easy to me. Before having my son I had worked outside the home my entire life. I had an interesting and stimulating job and no 2 days were alike. I got to use my education and experience and I was well paid for it. Making the decision to become a FT mom and now, a homeschooling mom totally changed the rythm of my days and it wasn't easy for me to get used to it. I mourned it for a while, especially during the infant stage when mothering is so labor intensive and there is little respite. Now, almost 6 years later, I can honestly say that there is nothing in the world I'd rather do than what I'm doing now: making a home for my family, homeschooling my treasured child, giving him the gift of an unhurried childhood. It has taken a conscious effort to retrain my thoughts, to realize that true contenment is right before our eyes and right near us. I have come to rely so much more on prayer, and my motto is 'count your blessing.' It's a journey which I don't think will ever really, really end. Thanks for the opportunity Dawn!

[sharyn]

Hi Dawn:

I have been a devoted reader, though I'm not sure I've ever commented before. I got MSFG when I noticed it in your sidebar and read it all over a couple of days, savoring it. I was very excited when I saw you were revisiting this book!

I try, try, try to savor the dailiness of my life, and I do find that it has gotten easier with practice -- to stop myself and remember to kiss baby feet (though my 'baby' is 2) and enjoy little-boy imaginings and wanting to 'help' in the kitchen and so on, when they're not raiding th stash of boxes to make mailboxes, etc. I ask every day for the ability to see these wonderful moments (even when the youngest throws the older brother's pasta on the floor; even when the older one topples the toy stove in the playroom) for the memories they are.

Looking forward to the continuing book study!

[Theresa ♥]

I've gotten through about half of the book but I've read and re-read the first chapter quite a number of times now. It is my favorite thus far.

Daliness for our family has taken a turn as our life is anything but predictable. We are between two homes. One that is a chaotic mess of boxes and piles and one that is being cleaned, scrubbed and polished.

Being in limbo like this is not easy for me. I like order and cleanliness. However, I have found much to be thankful for and enjoy during this time of our move. I've gone through all of the children's memory boxes and we've enjoyed looking through old school papers, homemade cards and pictures. We've purged all the things that we didn't really need and I feel good about that.

Yesterday at the new house we had a most welcome visitor. A cardinal! We've only had one breif sighting here at our house in the city but this cardinal was sitting on the deck railing of our porch. I'm just giddy with excitement over this and anxious to get our feeders moved and established out there.

I've read through some of the replies and hope to be back (as time permits) to read through the rest.

Blessings to all,
Theresa

[Aimee]

Just from the title, this book didn't appeal to me. I thought it would be about how to fit God into a hurried life. But as I read your excerpts as you got ready for this study, I changed my mind! I just got the book in the mail today and my favorite part from the introduction is when she says that the book is not about changing your life but about being more present to the life you have. This is not a message that is being presented in our world right now. Very excited about your study and thanks for being so intentional with your blog. I will be passing this on to many friends.
Aimee

[Peakmore Academy]

I finally finished the blog post that had been in my "drafts." I linked to my own blog entry about this DAILINESS chapter at http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PeakmoreAcademy/494118/

[Jessica]

I am joining in a little late... I have loved reading your post as well as all the comments. It is such a wonderful book, and it comes at a perfect time in my life, as I have really been struggling with the "dailiness." I posted here:
http://showerofroses.blogspot.com/2008/03/peace-dailiness-and-simplicity.html
Looking forward to more discussion next week :)