First of all, I am just humbled and honored by all your lovely comments and the prayers offered on behalf of our new little one. Bless you all for rejoicing with us, easing my heart and encouraging me as you always do ...
Now, several of you asked about the boys' reactions, so I thought I'd share a little about that with you. :)
So, one of the ways I began to suspect something was up was because, not only was I very late, but as I'd drive the boys to and from their activities I was starting to feel sick. I am prone to car sickness certainly, but never while I'm driving. So that was weird. Pretty soon I started feeling waves of nausea at home, just randomly at any point of the day. Again, weird.
Then, in the afternoons, I'd find myself so pooped that I'd conk out on the couch. And I am definitely NOT a napper - unless I'm sick (or apparently pregnant, lol). And come bedtime, I could hardly outlast the boys ... I was fading fast by 8 p.m.
I could tell Crackerjack, my worrier, was aware of these subtle changes. And I knew he was tuning in to the quiet conversations Bill and I were having about how I was feeling. The morning I went in to the lab for bloodwork he was definitely on high alert:
"Mom, is your stomach queasy again?"
I could see the wheels spinning, the anxiety building ...
(Meanwhile Earlybird and Bookworm remained blissfully unaware.)
After the bloodwork confirmed the (incredible) news, and with me feeling less and less like myself, we knew it was time to tell the boys. I didn't want CJ to worry needlessly, and I needed the boys to understand the situation and pitch in to help as they could.
So one morning before Bill left for work, we approached the older two boys and said:
"Boys, we have something we want to tell you."
CJ, quickly responds, "Why? What's wrong?"
(See what I mean?)
So Bill and I hem and haw, trying to find the words, and I can see the boys starting to freak out a little obviously thinking it's going to be bad news, so I just blurt out:
"I'm going to have a baby."
*cue pregnant pause*
And then Bookworm - oh, how I wish I'd had a camera - just broke out in this enormous, ear-to-ear grin. Absolutely beaming, I tell you. And he says,
"You know I almost said, jokingly, 'What are you pregnant?'"
But Bookworm was SO pleased, and I cant tell you how much this pleased me. His reaction was so honest and just full of joy. My heart swelled with love and pride.
Whereas Crackerjack ... well, he took a little convincing.
You see, our 13-year old middle child is a boy who does not like change. He likes his happy little "bubble" just the way it is, thank you very much. (For example, I think Bookworm starting college will be hardest on CJ out of all of us.)
So CJ got rather quiet (and a bit pale) as he absorbed our news. I could see, even, that he was tearing up. And when he finallly spoke up, it was to confess his most pressing concern:
"So we're not going to Disney, then?"
(We had plans to go to Disney again next May with my folks - a trip which, for obvious reasons, will have to be postponed.)
We did our best to reassure CJ:
"Oh, we'll definitely be going to Disney again ... but probably not in May."
Crackerjack has since warmed up to the whole "baby" idea, asking questions and making comments now and again ...
"So will your belly get big?"
(I told him yes, but assured him it would go back to normal again once the baby was born. He doesn't need to worry about post-baby weight and things like that, lol.)
"That's the baby talking, isn't it?"
(After I let out a rather indelicate burp.)
"Where will the baby sleep?"
(Which is a great question and something we're working on.)
As for Earlybird ... we have not yet told him that I'm pregnant. Nine months is a looong time for an autistic child to wait for something. I figure he'll start to ask questions once he keys into the conversations around him and/or when I start to show. Funnily enough, I was looking at a pregnancy website online the other day and EB pointed to the very visibly pregnant woman on the screen and said, "She's having a baby!' And I said, "Yes, she is, there's a baby in her tummy." And EB said, "Oh, that's so nice."
So that's a good start!
Well, I'm sorry this post got a little long-winded, but it was fun for me to recount the ways we're coming to grips with this new family "development." Also, I can feel mommy-brain ramping up and I know I'll be forgetting these early weeks before long. So naturally, I blog to capture what I can, when I can, because every moment is precious. Which is the whole reason I blog of course - preserving all those big and little moments - and things just got a whole lot more precious, not to mention interesting!
So thank you once again for all your support and prayers. I cannot express how much this means to me and my family. I have truly felt my anxiety lessen over the last couple of days ... feeling some peace wash over me, just accepting this gift and trusting that all will be well. I was very fortunate to have three easy and wonderful pregnancies before, so I'm hoping things go similarly this time around. I may be many years older this time but I am, thankfully, healthy, and I feel really good, inside and out.
Thank you for adding to my peace.
Have a wonderful Wednesday, my friends ... I'll see you here again very soon!