Recently we had a playdate with some new friends from church, and, as it often happens when we meet someone new, the chat mosied around to our homeschooling. Specifically, how we came to do such a thing. ;)
It is, admittedly, a rather outside-the-box kind of choice; people are usually surprised by it and curious to learn more. The question, as always, was asked in the nicest and sincerest way.
It had been a while since I reminisced about those days, seven and a half years ago, when we made the big leap into home education. It also occured to me I've never really told the story here at my blog, and this being the week of all things back-to-school, I thought it would be a good time to do so.
I personally find the answers to the "how-you-came-to-homeschool" story quite fascinating. It seems there are as many reasons to homeschool as homeschoolers themselves (which at last count, numbered around 2 million in the U.S.). Sometimes parents pull their kids out of school due to dissatisfaction with the quality of care or education or both, and some home educate their children from the get-go, as perhaps a natural extension of their attachment-style parenting. We fell somewhere in between.
Let's go back to circa 1999, the year our Bookworm entered preschool. No, let's do one better than that - one year earlier to his third year of life when I suddenly realized I was a slacker mom.
Well, maybe clueless is a kinder description. :)
In my defense, I was a newbie. I had no timetable to speak of. I was a stay-at-home mom from the start, and Bookworm and I were just busy enough with our little activities: a weekly playgroup, moms-and-tots field trips, library storytimes and cozy, comforting days at home. I relished this time. I had waited for it all my life - to be a full-time mother with a husband, a home and a little one to care for (and, God willing, more littles before long). I really enjoyed our days together - the books we read, the crafts we did and the visits we made to family and friends.
But when Bookworm neared three, the casual conversation at our playgroup intensified; the talk turned to preschool - and who was sending who where.
"Huh?" I thought, completely caught off guard. "Preschool? Could it be time for preschool already?"
It seemed so soon - too soon - to be talking about school! We were having too much fun and Bookworm was doing so well - talking a blue streak (to anyone who'd listen) and learning new things left and right. When I was a child, I attended "nursery" school for a year before kindergarten, but I was four at the time. Four was so much bigger than three! Surely we could wait?
Well, surely we could, so we did - and I got another year with my little guy all to myself.
We continued our homey little routine, and I remained somewhat oblivious. All around me my friends already had their little ones either enrolled at or signed up for or at the very least on the wait-list for this school or that.
Meanwhile, Bookworm neared 3 1/2 and nary a brochure nor an open house crossed my radar. But at some point it became clear we'd better get on our horses if we hoped to register Bookworm somewhere we both liked and trusted.
But who to like? Who to trust? Where on earth would we be comfortable sending our son?
Pulling my head out of the clouds of contentment, I began to ask around. A local Christian preschool (a mere three minutes from our home) was tops on the list, but when I called I got the unfortunate news that they were all filled up for the next year.
So we looked a bit further and after a few appointments, we settled on another preschool in the area - still in town, yet an unsettling distance from our home (12-15 minutes depending on who was driving).
It didn't feel quite right, and I was a nervous wreck (being several months pregnant with Crackerjack), but what could we do? I prayed it would all work out for the best ...
And then the call came one summer day - from the preschool so much closer to home - there was suddenly room for Bookworm! Hooray! How he ever got put on that wait list was beyond me, but I was sure glad he did.
So now things felt better. Not great, mind you, but better.
In the fall of 1999, Bookworm began his three-day-a-week preschool. He was fine about it - nary a tear nor a second glance back at his mum, lol. He adjusted well, and all in all had a great year. Before we knew it, the next step on the ladder - kindergarten registration - was looming.
But at the mid-year parent-teacher conference, a few pieces of information started a little pot simmering on my internal stove. First, we were told Bookworm was somewhat advanced (academically speaking) for his age. He knew all his letters, in and out of context as well as the sounds they made. (He was soon reading at home.) He could do first grade math, was intensely interested in scientific concepts and he loved doing puzzles of all kinds - upside down.
All right, so he was bright, and that was a blessing, but we all know learning is more than just that. Fondly I recalled reading book after book (after book) in our special chair, the one I now rocked Crackerjack in, while Bookworm looked over my shoulder. I also thought about the number games we played and how he liked to make up mathematical jokes. I thought about the nature walks we took and the collections of acorns and stones that filled our stroller basket. I thought about all those lazy afternoons puttering over puzzles, dipping fish sticks in applesauce and marveling over every little thing together.
Together.
I would miss those days once kindergarten started - and sorely - but at least, I reminded myself we would have our afternoons. Or so I thought.
You see, that was the year our town decided to change over from half-day to full-day kindergarten. Five full days a week, would my baby be gone. He would leave at 8:30 and come home around 3. This was just too much, Bill and I both felt, for a 5 year old child. Sure he'd adjust, but would we want him to have to? Home should be where he spent the bulk of his time at such a tender age.
Besides, I would miss him and his little brother would miss him. And I couldn't stop thinking about how much more he'd miss by not being home than by not being in school.
I honestly don't know how we came up with the term homeschooling (this was before Google searches solved seemingly every problem known to man and motherkind). But somehow I came across it and I was enthralled. I read all I could, and the more I read, the more I liked. No loved. I was beyond thrilled that Bill felt the same way.
Could we do this, we wondered? Would this be something that worked for our family? We talked it over and over, and we kept coming back to one thought - how could we not try? At least for one year?
Needless to say, kindergarten registration came and went without us.
About this time, Bookworm's preschool teacher approached me, and asked me the question I'd been dreading: When is Bookworm registering for kindergarten, she wondered? (At that time, the children had to miss a day of Pre-K to attend a readiness screening. I had not arranged for either.)
I was nervous to tell her of our decision - I didn't want her to think it was based in any way on a fault of Bookworm's preschool experience. But we had had many parenting/education talks and she seemed to have a special fondness for Bookworm - I don't think she was surprised by our news.
In fact, she was quite encouraging. She felt Bookworm was a good candidate for homeschooling, and that I was good teacher material. Her words meant more to me than she knew. Though I wasn't counting on her approval, I sure appreciated it.
When people ask us why, I say that we homeschool because of all it offers our children individually, and to us as a family. We homeschool because of all the positive experiences to be had at home and out and about - not so much because of any possible negative experiences at school.
The bottom line is we homeschool because we truly enjoy it. It's been a terrific fit for our family as well as a tremendous gift of time and experience. I feel blessed to be able to do this, but I hardly do it alone. For one thing I have a generous and supportive husband who makes sure we have all that we need to proceed, and the support and understanding of our families cannot be underestimated. (How many activities would we have had to miss if it were not for my mum babysitting at a moment's notice?). We are also very fortunate to live in an area that has a large and lively homeschooling community. Between science fairs, book groups, swim-and-gym's, field trips and more, we mums joke that we could "socialize"' every day of the week - if only we didn't have to actually teach. ;)
And so that year, after Bookworm "graduated" from preschool, it was on with our home learning journey. Or really I should say, the continuation of, because as we've added more children, I see how it all truly begins at the beginning.
Is it perfect? Goodness, no. But is it the best choice? For us, yes it is.
It's all about looking forward, and now and then looking back. We learn best, though, by never taking our eyes off the present.
Thanks for listening to our story (told in my signature rather long way) and wherever you learn, I wish you a wonderful year!
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