When You Take Your Children Shopping ...

You'll get donut crumbs in Daddy's car.

You'll apply your AC Moore coupon to a stuffed turkey vulture for your 6 yo who simply loves turkey vultures.

You'll learn new and interesting things about your hair, for example, "it really doesn't look pretty with that weird green thing in it." (a.k.a. a scrunchy)

You'll discuss the reasons why someone would possibly want to smoke a cigar, within earshot of someone actively smoking a cigar.

You'll discover the automatic hand dryer turns on no matter what part of your body you stick under it.

You'll try all the free samples offered at the supermarket, when you normally just say "No, thanks."

You'll avail yourself of the Tums in your purse.

You'll wish you hadn't let your 11 yo peruse the birthday cards alone. (Note to self: Skip any card that starts with "Hey, Big Guy!")

You'll while away a long wait in line turning around magazine covers.

You'll play a quick game of tag at the post office.

You'll get home an hour later than you'd planned, with three extra grocery bags, a car full of crumbs, and two happy children in tow.