Humor Feed

Overheard in the Shower ...

How to assure lots of conversation and activity in your otherwise quiet household? Step into the shower - and ask your children to hold down the fort for 5 - maybe 10 - minutes.

Bang, bang, bang!

Mama? Is there a cat in there with you? One's missing!

Bang, bang, bang!

Mama! I found a lucky penny!

Bang, bang, bang!

Mama! There's a strange new bird at the feeder! Come see!

Bang, bang, bang!

Mama! Some show we're not allowed to see is coming on tv!

Bang, bang, bang!

Mama? Why is the couch all wet?

You know, hair conditioner is highly overrated.


National Watermelon Day!

Did you know it's today? It also happens to be Martha Stewart's birthday today, but that's a whole other post. For now, let me just point you in the direction of some interesting watermelon-themed posts and information ...

~ a joke from the boys ...

~ a fond family story, followed by another ...

~ a fun recipe from Cay ...

~ a summery drink recipe from the birthday girl herself (given the thumbs up by Mary Chris at 4Real) ...

~ a pickled watermelon rind recipe found online (my grandmother's recipe is around here somewhere) ... and you could make watermelon muffins with those pickles (scroll down the page) - unusual but probably delicious!

~ and lastly some important information about watermelon nutrition - which is good news for mothers like me who routinely forget to put the watermelon back in the fridge!

Enjoy some watermelon today! And don't forget the seed spitting contest! :)

"Watermelon's dress is green,

Trimmed in rose pink you all have seen;

She has such pleasant smiling ways,

We welcome her on summer days."

From Mother Earth's Children: The Frolics of the Fruits and Vegetables


When You Take Your Children Shopping ...

You'll get donut crumbs in Daddy's car.

You'll apply your AC Moore coupon to a stuffed turkey vulture for your 6 yo who simply loves turkey vultures.

You'll learn new and interesting things about your hair, for example, "it really doesn't look pretty with that weird green thing in it." (a.k.a. a scrunchy)

You'll discuss the reasons why someone would possibly want to smoke a cigar, within earshot of someone actively smoking a cigar.

You'll discover the automatic hand dryer turns on no matter what part of your body you stick under it.

You'll try all the free samples offered at the supermarket, when you normally just say "No, thanks."

You'll avail yourself of the Tums in your purse.

You'll wish you hadn't let your 11 yo peruse the birthday cards alone. (Note to self: Skip any card that starts with "Hey, Big Guy!")

You'll while away a long wait in line turning around magazine covers.

You'll play a quick game of tag at the post office.

You'll get home an hour later than you'd planned, with three extra grocery bags, a car full of crumbs, and two happy children in tow.


To Do Today:

1. Make out a grocery list for tomorrow. Add cucumbers to the list so we can try out a few recipes I put up at Harvest Home. :)

2. Post the boys' Friday Photos at Marigolds for Mama. More nature shots, these taken at their great-grandmother's house earlier in the week.

3. Scramble to get the ed. plan done and out in the mail today. Well, scramble is too strong a word. Move expeditiously to finalize and deliver our 2006-2007 educational plan to the proper authorities via tomorrow morning's mail delivery.

4. Soothe Earlybird who has come down with the stomach bug I dealt with a few days ago. :(

5. Resist the urge to read a Jane Austen book - again - when I have The Geese of Beaver Bog by Bernd Heinrich to finish first. Maybe we'll just watch Sense and Sensibility tonight and observe Marianne, checking for any similarities. To me (see the quiz), not the geese. ;)

6. Order our tickets to Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest for tomorrow ~ a long-awaited date with dh. :)

7. Catch up on laundry (see # 4) and vacuum the couch. You cannot imagine what came out from under the cushions this morning. Or perhaps you can, and then I wouldn't feel so bad.

8. Measure Crackerjack's bed frame. We're downsizing his full futon lower bunk and building a twin size bed in its place. I say we but of course I mean dh. Lumber is his department; bedsheets are mine. :)

9. Learn about Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha whose feast day it is today. Remember to spend a few minutes looking at her stained glass window at church on Sunday.

10. Start my Christmas planning ~ really! I feel another blog coming on ... stay tuned!

Planner_1

With so much to do, I'd better crack open my planner!


One Toe Broken, Two Lessons Learned

You know how it is with us mothers. We always have to do things ourselves ...

But when your husband insists that you go and sit down, while he and the boys unpack all the groceries you brought home, because after all it is Mother's Day weekend, and you did spend the whole morning running errands all over town, out there in the rain and the crowds ...

What you don't do is refuse, and instead keep on unpacking ... even though you are kind of tired and you really could do with a bite to eat, because what you will end up doing is dropping a 32 oz. glass jar of juice on your left foot, bruising three toes and breaking one.

All together now ~ OUCH!

And then what you won't do for the rest of the day - quite obviously - is any one of the many items on your to-do list, but instead will accept any and all kind offers of help, while you watch from the couch, leg elevated, toes numb under a soggy bag of frozen blackberries ...

It made for quite a lesson, and my toe is quite a sight.

Next time help is offered - and I can really use it - I will gladly, and humbly, say yes.

And what's the second lesson learned, you might ask?

Don't put away the groceries in barefeet!

Pass the Motrin.


Saturday Science

I was nibbling my toast just now in the kitchen, when Crackerjack bounded in, surveyed my breakfast, and then announced:

"Here's a food chain for you ~ Dragon -> Person -> Bird -> Worm."

Who says we're not doing science around here?